Re-discovering Life’s Purposes through Childhood Play

This post discusses the importance of understanding one’s vocational identity through the exploration of “being-roles,” which are modes of existence reflecting innate attributes. The author emphasizes the value of childhood experiences and play in revealing these roles, suggesting that vocational discernment is a continuous process of self-discovery and narrative evolution.

The first post in a series drawing on a therapist’s insights into play, wandering, and presence in relation to vocational exploration and discernment.

happy children in mantles playing outdoors
Photo by Antonius Ferret on Pexels.com

As a therapist for almost two decades, I’ve listened many times to clients voice their vocational confusion as they ask, with a gnawing ache, “Who am I?” and “What is my life for?” and “Is this all there is?”

The ages of my clients have varied widely, but their quest for meaning and the identity distress they’ve experienced are similar. In his work on psychosocial development over the course of our lives, Erik Erickson recognized identity, relationships, and service as innate human crises to be resolved during different ages. He noted that, in adolescence, we struggle with identity vs. role confusion; in middle adulthood, generativity vs. stagnation; and in late adulthood, integrity vs. despair. Identity formation and meaning making are not single developmental tasks but recurring psychological negotiations across the lifespan.

As we negotiate these phases, psychologists Dan McAdams and Kate McLean theorize that people develop a “narrative,” an evolving life story, that helps them make sense of transitions, challenges, and their place in the world. As a result, questions of meaning may re-emerge during young adulthood, midlife, and retirement, when individuals are often revising the stories that they tell about themselves. These theories about our developmental stages and narrative identity suggest that vocational angst is not a failure of direction, but a recurring process of meaning reconstruction throughout one’s life.

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Called to Leisure

A student’s disbelief over a statistic regarding sleep deprivation reflects a broader concern about time poverty among students, which hinders their ability to engage in “productive leisure.” This engagement is crucial for personal growth and vocational exploration, urging educators to emphasize meaningful co-curricular activities and critique the cultural obsession with busy-ness.

A student sat down in my office for what I thought was going to be a quick check-in on a paper idea, but her face darkened as her eyes passed over my monitor. “What?” she exclaimed, “Who are those other 42%? Who? I don’t know them!” I’d been skimming a news article reporting that 58% of Americans reported not getting enough sleep. She could not believe that the number was so low, for she and her classmates were so squeezed by school, employment, and, in many cases, athletics that she could scarcely imagine a world where anyone had enough time to get it all done, never mind sleeping enough. I couldn’t blame her. I’d had the same basic reaction to that headline.

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The Power of Unexpected Mentorship

Mentorship can profoundly influence personal growth, as illustrated by Ben Gambuzza’s experience with a music professor, referred to as Professor J. Their connection encouraged Ben to explore deeper questions about himself and his future. Through unconventional guidance, Professor J taught Ben valuable lessons that transcended traditional classroom learning, emphasizing self-discovery over direct career advice.

Scott Carlson, senior writer at The Chronicle.

Mentorship can take many forms, and sometimes we cross paths with people with whom we unexpectedly form significant relationships that prompt us to see our lives in new and different ways. Last week, in his newsletter for The Chronicle of Higher Education, Scott Carlson included an essay by Ben Gambuzza, an undergraduate student he met in 2019 when he gave a talk at Trinity College about “writing, college, and the future of work.” After the talk, Scott took on Ben as a mentee, and when Ben proposed writing a piece on mentorship for Scott’s newsletter, Scott supported his efforts and published Ben’s essay last week. In it, Ben tells the story of his serendipitous encounter with a music professor who became one of his most important mentors. This professor didn’t always provide Ben with concrete answers to his questions, but he helped him refine the kinds of questions he was asking about himself and his future. Readers of Vocation Matters interested in the role of mentoring and vocational exploration will find much to appreciate in Ben’s essay, which is included in its entirety below.

This piece by Ben Gambuzza was originally featured in Scott Carlson’s newsletter The Edge, which is published by The Chronicle of Higher Education. Vocation Matters is grateful for the permission to repost it for our readers. If you wish to access the original essay, you can go to last week’s issue of the newsletter published on December 4, 2025, but you will need a subscription to view it.

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